The existential catharsis of discovering you can't, in fact, be anything

I apparently have a lot of words for, "I have no words."

I cried most of the day. 

I ate potato chips in bed and wandered from room to room feeling like I had something to do but couldn’t remember what it was.

As a coach and a leader, I so badly wanted to have something wise to say. But the words didn’t come. Just more tears. The friends I checked on and the ones who checked on me; we all shared just blunted ut…